By the time couples file for divorce, their relationships will usually have suffered damage. Their communication may have devolved to screaming matches or bitter silences. While the dissolution of your marriage means you don’t have to work out all of your emotions toward your ex, the fact that you share children means you will have to find a way to work together even after the divorce.
No matter how angry you are at one another now, it’s important to think about your children and start making them the focal point of all of your decisions. Trying to cultivate a functional co-parenting relationship with your ex will be one of the best things you can do for your kids. Re-learning how to communicate appropriately will be a major part of this process.
Keep the focus on the kids
Your personal relationship will soon change dramatically, but your shared parentage of the children will never change. They should be your top priority and focus when communicating with your ex. Don’t focus on your marriage or your emotions.
Talk about how the children behave, their upcoming scheduling needs and any other important information. You want to openly and honestly communicate about how your children act and process the divorce so that you can make this difficult experience a bit easier on the kids.
Start communicating in writing so your emotions don’t take over
During the first few months or even the first year of your separation and divorce, communicating only in writing could be a very good decision. In fact, using a parenting app could help you avoid conflicts before they arrive.
By having all of your scheduling and custody information in the centralized place, along with a communication hub that stores your messages, you can adjust how you think about interacting, making it easier to stay calm and rational.
Recognize when you might need outside help to make the situation work
Divorce is going to be a difficult adjustment for your family, but there are many different kinds of support that can help. When learning how to interact and communicate, resources ranging from divorce support groups to co-parenting counseling could help your family make the most of its new circumstances.
Handling shared custody after divorce is often complicated, but it can be a beautiful and functional arrangement for your family if you commit to working for happy and healthy children.