Divorce can be a very difficult experience for children. They often blame themselves for the deterioration of their parents’ relationships or experience extreme stress about spending less time with their parents because of the divorce. The more pressure you put on your children and the more contentious the divorce becomes, the greater the potential psychological impact.
In other words, divorcing Colorado parents may want to take every step possible to protect their children from an acrimonious divorce. Agreeing from the first moment you broach the topic to insulate your children from the problems in your relationship is one of the best things you can do.
For your kids, you are a source of stability and security
After many years together, you and your ex may have negative views of one another. However, for your children, you are likely their heroes and the foundation upon which they developed their sense of safety. If you and your ex start tearing each other down at every opportunity, your kids will suffer as a result.
The negative things you say about one another to the children can influence how your children perceive their parents and themselves. It can also put significant strain on their relationship with you and their desire to communicate their needs and issues.
Your kids should never hear you complaining about your ex or talking about them negatively. You should also do everything in your power to avoid arguments and confrontations in their presence. Staying calm and respectful when you communicate in front of the children is one of the best things you can do during your divorce.
Put the long-term needs of your kids ahead of your short-term emotions
The Missouri family courts typically prefer to distribute parental rights and responsibilities between both parents in a divorce. Barring abuse or other serious issues, you will be hard-pressed to create an argument compelling enough for the courts to allocate all of those rights and responsibilities to only one parent.
Instead of digging in your heels and fighting or reporting your ex for every time they show up five minutes late for their parenting time, having flexibility and compassion toward your ex will benefit you and your kids. When you’re calm and respectful toward one another, that reduces the strain on your children.
Focusing on the kids and keeping calm when dealing with your ex also provides them with a positive example of how to handle difficult situations and stress. While your emotions may be intense, your children should not be a tool to help you handle those feelings. Join a support group, vent to your closest friend or consider attending therapy. Do whatever you need to do to keep your emotions from impacting the mental and emotional health of your children.